17 Jul It Is Not Good For Man To Be Alone
Now, one of the things I have enjoyed most early in the morning, other than my morning prayers is to wake up fresh and alert, where I could give my full attention to my wife. We talk over breakfast, we share perspectives, we talk about our kids, we thank God for some brethren who has been our delight, and of course also sharing our woes with each other, hoping to carry each other’s burden. And over the years of doing that, I realize I’ve become a better person.
And nowadays with more people working from home, if possible, I will like to encourage couples to at least create that personal time and space for each other in the morning, which otherwise was usually a mad rush for most of us. Now, I believe one of the best things the pandemic has created for us is more quality family time. And spending that good and meaningful time with our spouse could be one essential, if you haven’t realized. That is the time when both of you learn what is “self-giving” all about. We learn to give, we learn to listen, we learn how to connect with our spouse intimately and adapt to each other’s temperaments. And it’s amazing that the more we do so, the more we enjoy that kind of exclusive love God has bestowed upon a marriage. And in that exclusive relationship, we can let our guards down, we can show our true self, or we can grumble about things or people without being judged. And in fact by doing that consistently, it actually makes us wholesome.
And so it brings us back to what God said: “It is not good for man to be alone”. God knew how we were created. He knew how we could be satisfied. And even after we’ve sinned, God knew how we need to be dealt with. Marriage, in fact was not supposed to be a burden. It is to help us understand and live out our identity. Now, let’s look at what the Bible has to say about this.
Let’s read <Gen 2:18-20>: The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
Maybe we should understand the context by which God created marriage here. Now, God created Adam perfect, no doubt about it. He has no lack of creativity, intellectual ability, or even leadership quality. Yet, God is still looking out for something else that man is still lacking, i.e. His completeness. Now, being perfect doesn’t mean he is complete. When God creates a perfect being, yes, he has no flaws, he doesn’t sin, he avoids mistakes, but God wants him to be complete – complete in love, complete in self-giving, complete in exercising goodness and wisdom. And for that to happen, he needs an object of affection where he can exercise all love and goodness in Him. And that’s why God said: “It is not good for man to be alone”. So after saying that, God brought all the living creature before the man. The man could have seen the dog. Yes, it is the faithful dog, who listens to his master, but he cannot be the object of his true affection. Or the man could have seen the cow. Well, it is good with ploughing the ground, and it offers him milk. But it is not a creature where he could be intimate with. Or the horse which is good to ride on. But it can never understand the man’s heart. And you know the story, God perform an anesthetic upon the man and he went into a deep sleep. Then God opened up his side, took out one of his rip bones and created a woman from it. And after that, God closed it up with flesh. And God brought the woman to the man. And seeing the woman for the first time, the man, out of the overflowing satisfaction of his heart, said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. So that perfect companionship was created, that is called marriage. As it is, God intended man to experience the intimacy of marriage to make him complete. And marriage is what God has used for both men and women to live out their true identity, the identity which originated from the image of God, which is self-giving and self-sacrificing.
Now, my brethren, I have known people, very miserable people who live their life not knowing anything about “giving and sacrificing”. They are calculative, they are combative. They complaint at the slightest inconvenience. They are always prone to blame someone for things that go wrong with them. It’s hard living with them, not only as a spouse, but even as a friend. Why? Because people around them have no choice but to give in to them. And the commonality about such a person is, they’re always lonely. They fail in relationship of all kinds.
Now my brethren, God has given us marriage and family to make us complete. God has given us a spouse to love and children to raise to help us learn how to put away our self-serving nature. And the difficulty of that process is what makes us wholesome. The relentless challenges in a marital life is what essentially heal and sanctify us. So don’t take your marriage lightly. Do not think about marriage as just having another person satisfying your needs, giving in to you, or having someone to spend your Birthday or Valentine’s Day with. Far be it my brethren. Marital relationship in the words of the Bible is signified by the exemplary of Christ sacrificing for the church, and the church submitting to Christ. In reality, it’s not taking, but giving consistently. It’s not demanding, but outdoing each other in kindness. So my brethren, if you are in a marriage, pray for your marriage to make you complete.
And some of you may ask: “Pastor, what if I am still single? Or what if I am called to be a single?” Well, being single obviously give you relatively more time and space for yourself. But being single is not an excuse for you to live a self-serving life. When God said: “It is not good for man to be alone”, that principle is for all mankind. So for that matter, keep praying to be self-giving to everyone around you – to your parents, your siblings, your brethren, and your friends. Learn from the Apostle Paul who gave His life to the churches of God and therefore live even more fruitful lives. Do not pity yourself or seek needless attention. But let your love for the Lord and the richness of your heart draw people to you. You could be a single, but never let yourself become a loner, for we are not made to be alone.