Listening, Speaking, Reacting

One of the things that troubles me is that we’re living in a world that is talking yet not listening, at least increasingly. And that phenomenon can be seen in the society, family, or even in a church nowadays. That explains the polarization that is happening all around us.

We see partisan politics in the political arena.

We see teenagers getting tired of parental advice.

Or in the church, we saw divisions getting more prevalent.

And the end result is: We’re losing peace.

Now, as a sacred human being, created to glorify God, if we get into selfish or needless division, we are responsible toward God, the author of peace. We will not be given peace if we violate God’s law of creation, or if we violate another human being with our divisive words. But of course, in a world that is against God, there will be times where we need to go against certain godless cultures and opinions. There will be times where we need to stand against carnalism.

And as a Christian and a teacher of the Word, I know there will be times where I need to divide against truths and falsehoods. Yet, it is so important that we have to be guided by the Holy Spirit. We have to do so without losing our sanity. And when we have done so in the right way, we will let the truth of God shine in the conscience of men. Yet, if we’re not guided by the spirit, we will be seen to be narrow-minded, or someone who is merely exalting our own opinions.

Yet, how is it like to be guided by the spirit in speaking and voicing our differing views? And to others, how can we show that we’ve thought through issues soundly and clearly, instead of being seen as someone who is merely insistent unreasonably?

Let’s turn to the Word of the Lord. <James 1:19-20> My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Now, two simple takeaways from these verses.

Listening and Speaking.

Now, there is a close connection with listening and speaking. Nowadays, we’ve more polarization, more unconstructive differences, why? Simply because we are no longer learning to listen intently, but rather speaking intently.

Now, I realize that we’re living in a world where increasingly, we’re listening with an intent to voice an opinion, instead of listening to understand. I don’t know whether this is brought about by our education system, or evolvement of the internet which gives all of us almost the full rights to opinion. But we know people now are generally quicker to respond and slower to listen. And when we do that, our “poor listening” responses will trigger a defense or provocation. It happens on social medias, it happens in the society, it happens in the church and family nowadays. And that is why the Bible says we must be quick to listen, slow to speak.

Now, don’t misunderstand, the Bible here is not encouraging an irresponsive or introvert nature. But the Bible is encouraging intent listening. Your respect for another person is shown in your intent to listen to what he or she said, and carefully. If a husband doesn’t know how to listen to his wife, it simply means he doesn’t respect his wife. It could mean that he is full of himself. And if a wife doesn’t listen to her husband, it means she doesn’t know how to please her husband. If a church leader doesn’t know how to listen to his coworkers or members and assume things quickly by his hunch, he is not seen to be a leader. Yes, he may be entitled to his opinion, he could have his deft touch about things, but he must be seen to have listened, observed and considered things enough. As it is, listening is such an important attitude that reflects our whole character. Not knowing how to listen actually shows how immature and narrow-minded we are.

And after listening, the Bible teaches us to be slow to speak. Now, I’m sure the Bible doesn’t literally mean “slow” as if in the speed of speaking, though speaking slowly and clearly, to a certain extent does help bring a message across. But more than that, when the Bible teaches about being slow to speak, it implies an intention to bring our message across to people clearly and responsibly. Sometimes, we just like to throw an idea or mindlessly give an opinion. In my view, that’s not responsible, especially when we’re relating about something of importance. I personally don’t like that idea of people speaking and not taking responsibility for their words. I like people to be sound in their argument and clear in their speech, so that his intention is made clear. If a person doesn’t know what it means to be slow in speaking, then he shouldn’t speak, lest he causes more needless strife and confusion in his speaking.

Now, sometimes, learning to speak well and clear is not necessarily a portrayal of hypocrisy, nor is it deceptive, but it is being responsible for what we are, because our words represent us and our beliefs. Therefore, we don’t want to be seen as someone who speak loosely or callously.

Now, on the next point.

Slow to anger

Now, I believe no one likes to get angry or to be seen as angry. Now, anger, inherently is not a sin. Because we’ve seen our Lord Jesus got angry with those traders who trade at the temple courts, making the temple a den of robbers. But the bible teaches us not to let the sun goes down while we’re still angry. Yes, it is not good to let such a volatile emotion be prolonged though it may serve some good cause to bring justice in certain instances. Yet, we should quickly simmer down. And the Bible here in James also teaches us to be slow to anger. Now because anger is seen as such a volatile emotion, whether in terms of an attitude, mannerism or posture, it has its harmful effects if it is constantly use as a way to achieve our goals. If you are easily angry and reactive in your expression of things, no one can really understand what you say, much less to say listen to you. People will just want to calm you down before conversing with you. And being over-reactive with anger always give people the impression that you’re self-absorbed. You will not bring your point across no matter how right you are. So especially when we’re speaking to our loved ones, to our colleagues, or people whom we’re close to, let your words be full of grace, seasoned with salt. Let your words be able to captivate people, and influence them to think deeper into what you mean. Let your temperaments show others that you have thought through issues before you voice them out as opinions. And even when there are differences, let your reaction and mannerism show restraint, such that you portray the righteous life that God desires.