<Ex 20:12> “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

<Ex 21> 15 “Anyone who attacks their father or mother is to be put to death…17 “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.

<Prov 30:17> “The eye that mocks a father, that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.”

The Fifth Commandment: Honoring authority set by God.

• Fallen humans have a problem with submitting to authority.
• Fifth Commandment reflects the order of authority God has laid out in the family.
• Our respect for parental authority will also affect how we respond to other authority figures, which are established by God for our good.
• Breakdown of authority structure in family  Chaos in society.
• Disrespect for authority at home not just moral issue but grave spiritual problem.

[Heidelberg Catechism] Q 104 What is God’s will for you in the fifth commandment?

A: That I honor, love, and be loyal to my father and mother
and all those in authority over me;

that I submit myself with proper obedience

to all their good teaching and discipline;

and also that I be patient with their failings—
for through them God chooses to rule us.

Honoring our parents.

1) Obey them.

• Obedience of a young child and an adult child is different.
• When God announced His Ten Commandments, He was speaking to adults.
• Jesus honored and obeyed His heavenly Father even to the point of death, so if we want our children to honor and obey us, we must teach them about Jesus.

2) Respect them.

• “Teenage rebellious phase” is not our license to disrespect parents.
• Is it really good that parents relate to their children as their equals or buddies?
• Guard against the subtle seed of disrespect for parents as we grow up.
• Respect comes from a heart of gratitude and appreciation.
• Respect parents’ views (recognise their wisdom).
• Honor parents with our words, don’t speak ill of them.
• Be mindful not to “over-honor” parents to the point of seeing parents as ‘gods’.

3) Care practically for parents.

• <Mt 15> 3 Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ 5 But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ 6 they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.

·     <1 Ti 5:8> Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

• Jesus: Even in most painful last moments before His death, still thought of His mother and entrusted her to the care of the disciple whom He loved. <Jn 19:26-27>
• Even if our parents have no financial needs, should still give them emotional care, and not neglect them.
• Filial piety is not about money but the heart and love we have for our parents.
• Care not just for their physical, earthly needs, but more so their salvation.

Beyond parents?

[Westminster Larger Catechism] Q 124: Who are meant by father and mother in the fifth commandment?

A 124: By father and mother, in the fifth commandment, are meant, not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God’s ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth.

• The Bible has broad uses of “father and mother”.
  • g.: Elisha had called Elijah “father” <2 Ki 2:11-12>
  • <1 Ti 5:1-2> Do not rebuke an older manharshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
• Honor the authority of those who “by God’s ordinance”, are our superiors and seniors in family, church, or the larger community.

How about tricky situations?

• “Should filial piety be earned?”
• Do we honor our parents or superiors because of their merits? Or because our sovereign God has ordained them to have authority over us?
• Are there “limits” or “exceptions” to this Fifth Commandment of God?
• No “if”, no stated exclusions, in the Fifth Commandment.
• The Heidelberg Catechism reminds us to be “patient with their failings—for through them God chooses to rule us.”
• One limit though: When there are conflicts between obeying God or obeying men, we should always obey God.
• Why should we still honor undeserving parents or superiors or seniors?
• Bible teaches forgiveness and love for even enemies.
• One way of honoring “undeserving” parents/superiors is to forgive them.
• Human failings are not justified reasons for us to disobey God.
• Find strength from Christ to honor our parents.

Blessing for obedience.

• <Ex 20:12b> …so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
• This promise reflects a general, not guaranteed, outcome.
• But whether we get blessings or not, we should still do the right thing (obey God).
• And the norm is, blessings usually follow after obedience.