What If I Have Lingering Desires?

Has there been moments in your life where you have went through a spiritual struggle, you have seen certain things that God wants you to let go, that you know is going to eventually affect your faith, but yet you still have that lingering tinge of desire or hope to cling onto it? It is like your spirit saying, “God, I know it isn’t right for me but I can’t seem to fully let go or I wish it will still come through anyway.” It could be a sinful inclination, a toxic relationship, or any form of temptation. Now the thing is, when one is coming before the Lord more often, testing and approving God’s will more and submitting more, naturally, they will find it easier to put down their own desires and surrender to God’s leading. But at the same time, we are also born of the flesh and the flesh has its needs and emotions. Therefore, we will get influenced or affected from time to time. For example, if we have always lived a less than ideal life, but a big career opportunity comes by, even if we know we may have to sacrifice Sabbath day to work or lessen our time to spend with our loved ones, it will still tug on our heart strings because ultimately, we do desire that kind of well-paid, high spending power lifestyle. Or when a person has been unwell for a long period of time, in their hearts they may know that God has a certain will and purpose in the sickness, yet because of the long standing pain, treatments or medication intake, it will still lead to them not being able to let go of their worries and hoping that God will quickly relieve them of their sufferings. And finally, another example is when we see the people around us, like our loved ones, and we wish for them to change in certain ways. We know that we cannot force them to change by our own will, yet when we see their undesirable mannerisms or perspective on things, we find it hard to let our unhappiness or frustration go.

I believe that no matter what great desires a beloved child of God has, if it is not beneficial to us, God will gradually bring us to a point where we may let go. However, it does not mean that after letting go, the person may entirely have no more desires or be influenced by the matter. It is a blessed thing to be able to wrestle in our spirits and let go of certain carnal decisions or actions, but the aftermath, that is the lingering inclination and desire, is the one that could be trickier to deal with and we have to continue staying guarded against. Why? Because it seems more subtle but it could also lead to an accumulative unhappiness that robs us from our joy and freedom as a child of God. So, if we still have lingering desires for the undesirable, what should we do?

Cherish our blessings

Now, the very first thing we can do, is in the famed phrase, “Count your blessings” or “Cherish your blessings”. Even though some of our wishes may not be granted, there will still be many traces of God’s grace that has been bestowed in our lives if we seek it. Therefore, we need to intentionally seek out out reasons to give thanks. Psalm 103 : 2 and 10 says “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” We have to confirm this truth that it does not matter if we seem to have more or less in men’s eyes, because whatever it is, we already have more than we deserve. We should be cursed because of our sins and transgressions, we are not deserving of the blessings we receive from Christ, but the Lord still adds grace upon us according to His sovereignty. So even if we feel dissatisfied with our circumstances, cannot seem to let go and hoping for more, but in fact, we are already basking in God’s grace. For example, we may not have a great career or high salary, but we have sufficient money to get by and time with God and our loved ones. Or we may come from a broken family, but God has blessed you with people around you and church brethren that cares for you too. So do not let our minds and hearts immerse in dissatisfaction towards our present. When we can cherish and value the blessings that has already been given to us right now, this heart of thankfulness will eventually cover over our disappointment or lingering desires.

Admit that we do not not the True Goodness that God does

Next, when it comes to what can bring us joy and satisfaction, we must not assume that we know better than God. Isaiah 55:9 says “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” We might feel that we have a better idea of what is defined as good. Like isn’t it good if someone can quickly change for the better? It might not be so, because a person may be quick to change, but quick to fall again because their foundation is not rooted. Or we may feel that it is such a great thing to have a high status in life and a good career, but it may not be entirely true because there might be other compromises made that could affect family relationships or spiritual life. We often think that if we have certain things, we will be better off and happier but it might not be the case. We are, after all, limited and will never be sure of what is true, unadulterated goodness that glorifies God and benefit God’s people, unless we turn to the only One who can, and that is God Himself.

If we do not revere God, everything else is empty

Now brothers and sisters, if we do not live a life to looks to the Lord and reveres Him, everything in our life will eventually feel empty. This was the case of Solomon’s realisation at the end of his life journey. He possessed great wisdom, but realised it was all empty. Because as he said in Ecclesiastes 2:15-16 “‘The fate of the fool will overtake me also. What then do I gain by being wise?’ I said to myself, ‘This too is meaningless.’ For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered; the days have already come when both have been forgotten. Like the fool, the wise too must die!” And not just that, even after Solomon has tasted the many pleasures of the world, he confessed in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Therefore, you can see that Solomon’s concluding statement at the end of his life journey is that all is empty, “nothing was gained.” Whether it was being wise or foolish, rich or poor, young or old and frail, the most important thing is still to revere the Lord. Dear brethren, if we come to realise that even our big or small desires are ultimately empty, we will not be struggling so hard about gaining or losing it.

Pursue the higher purpose and live by it

Finally, to get us unbounded by our lingering desires, we have to pursue the higher purpose and live by it. Just like Paul who had a thorn in his flesh, he too wished that he may be liberated, but God did not do as he wish and simply remove it. Yet, Paul was still able to gradually transcend the discomfort of his thorn. Why? Because he was driven and led by a vision. He knew that God has a perfect will for his life and that the thorn is a way to prevent him from turning proud, just as it is said in 2 Corinthians 12:7 “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” And beyond this, he also received God’s comfort that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for him, as mentioned in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Therefore, after testing and approving God’s truth and help, he placed his focus on God’s leading in his life, so that he will not be worn down by his thorn, but because of this weakness, he experienced God’s power over him and faithfully fulfilled God’s calling for him.

Brothers and sisters, our purpose in this world is not to fulfil our desires, certain standards of living, getting married, having a family, a good career, living in comfort etc. When we place our heart on God’s mission and faithfully follow through (like taking care of God’s sheep, the weary and broken, be a helper to God’s church, raise up more God-loving and revering believers, and continue to equip ourselves in the complete gospel of God), we will be so filled up with God’s goodness and leading that we will no longer have so much time to let our heart and mind dwell on those lingering desires. Who knows? When we continue on our blessed path journey, God may surprise us some day by showing us how He fulfils certain wishes of our heart. However, we must not put our hopes on trying to get a certain outcome that we want, but put our trust on God’s complete grace and mercy. Let us confirm that whether our desires are met or not, the process and outcome are all loaded up with the Lord’s grace and mercy for you. God bless.