Forging Meaningful and Lasting Friendships

* Socrates said: “Friendship is the highest form of love.”

* Aristotle: “Friendship are made up of men who are good and alike in virtue; for each alike wishes well to each other”.

* Jesus said: “I lay down my life for my friends”.

* Kinship Vs Friendship

* A true minster of God, has true friends around him.

* We accomplish the great commission with true friends in the Lord.

* True friendship in Christ has deep unmoving trust in one another, yet it is also missional.

* <Jn 15:15-16>: I no longer call you servants… Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you… but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit.

* The gospel compels us to forge lasting and meaningful relationship.

<1 Sam 17:57-58; 18:1; 20:32-33,41-42> <2 Sam 21:7>

57 As soon as David returned from killing the Philistine, Abner took him and brought him before Saul, with David still holding the Philistine’s head.

58 “Whose son are you, young man?” Saul asked him.

David said, “I am the son of your servant Jesse of Bethlehem.”

1After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. (But we know shortly after that King Saul, out of jealousy is bend on killing David. And Jonathan came to his defense as he confronted his father.

32 “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. 33 But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David.

41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.

42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.

7 The king spared Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, because of the oath before the Lord between David and Jonathan son of Saul.

Now, the Bible kept a very interesting storyline with regard to David’s and Jonathan’s friendship. And David remembers his oath he made with Jonathan and he abides to it even when he is dead. Now, this is true friendship, my brethren. And such friendship can only be found in the lord.

Godly friendship.

1) Forged through our relationship in Christ, with God’s sovereignty.

① Forge through God-given circumstances.

② David appealed to Jonathon’s heart.

③ Friendship forged through the oath of the Lord (Christ promise to us).

Important to be enduring and persevering in friendship.

* Need to overcome differences or misunderstandings.

* <Col 3:12-14>: 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Beware of fear, anxiousness and helplessness in friendship love.

* <Job 2:11-13>: 11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

* <Job 5:17-18> 17 Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. 18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

* Be mindful of the frailty and weakness of human love.

* We need enough love and God’s counsel in ministering to our broken friends.

* Yet, also learn to appreciate the genuine correction by our friends at times.

* <Pro 27:5-6> said: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”.

Befriending non-Christians?

1) Two seemingly opposite commands.

① Warning against
<1 Cor 15:33>: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character”.

<Pro 13:20>: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm”.

② Encouragement for

<1 Cor 5:9-10>, “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world”.

<Mk 16:15> said: “Go into all the World and preach the good news to all creation”.

2) Ask ourselves two critical questions to check:

① Which side is the transformation going?

② Do we love them because we wish to change them toward God?

3) Start praying for the salvation of these friends.

4) Be selective with non-believing friends for spiritual reasons.

Reflection
1) Do you have a godly purpose in your friendship with your brethren?
If yes, what is that purpose? Can that purpose hold that friendship for life?
2) Can your friendship with your brethren stand the test of time and trial?
Why yes and why not?
3) Which way does your friendship with your non-believing friends go? You influence them to Christ, or they influence you to the World? Why?